The Questions Project: Samantha Orlowski

Negligence: i.e. when I completely forget to post this set of questions mid-paragraph. So it’s a week late… I apologize profusely.
And it’s a shame, because you’ve all been unable to hear from the wonderful, fantastic, hilarious Samantha Orlowski for a whole extra week. Again, my sincerest apologies. Sam is a senior journalism student at MU. We met my freshman year when she bombarded into my room (as she did everyone’s) to introduce herself. I was simultaneously impressed and horrified. But in a good way, I promise. I never leave a conversation with her bored. We took the LSAT together and she referenced Mean Girls, therefore making everyone feel a little better.

1. What was the last picture you took with your phone?
Pictures of my sister’s wedding dress! I think I am more excited about it than she is.

Photo submitted by Samantha Orlowski.

Photo submitted by Samantha Orlowski.

Photo submitted by Samantha Orlowski.

Photo submitted by Samantha Orlowski.

2. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?
Yes! I got pulled over on my way home from work at 3 a.m. once. The cop accused me of being on my way back from a party. He was only dissuaded from accusation when I pointed out that I was wearing my popcorn tie. He acted like he was letting me off the hook, but I really don’t think anyone would go out partying smelling like stale popcorn.

3. What’s your heritage?
I am Polish, German and Austrian. My grandma also insists that I am part Viking.

4. What was the last lie you told?
“No, I don’t mind killing the giant freaking spider outside.”

5. What’s the weirdest prank you’ve ever done?
I have a life size cardboard cut out of Tom Hiddleston as Loki and I spent an entire week moving him around my house to scare my family. They stopped being scared after day three, but I continued because I think I’m absolutely hilarious.

6. Do you trust anyone with your life?
I trust my family with literally everything, and that’s the real use of literally, not just the basic white girl definition. Also my roommate. She knows everything about me so if she decided to kill me it probably wouldn’t be too difficult for her to cover it up.
7. Describe the perfect pizza.
All pizza is the perfect pizza. But, if I were going to pick it would be New York style pepperoni pizza. There is this bar/pizza place in downtown St. Louis called Maurizio’s that never disappoints.

8. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?
“If I don’t brush my teeth or wash my face I could probably sleep for another 20 minutes.”

9. You discover that your wonderful one year old child is because of a mix up at the hospital and not yours. would you want to exchange the child to correct the mistake?
Probably not. Most likely I would keep the child and demand a reality TV show with me and the other family. It would be like real-life Switched at Birth, minus the unnecessary ABC Family drama.

10. Would you be willing to lie to a court for a close friend if it meant saving your friend from going to prison for life?
As a future (hopeful) lawyer, I feel obligated to say no! But, since I’m going to be Annalise Keating (that is most definitely a How to Get Away with Murder reference) when I’m older, I’d totally be able to get my friend off the hook.

11. Would you be willing to eat a bowl of crickets for money?
One time, when I was like 12, I put a June bug in my mouth for $5. So probably.

12. If you could have anyone locked in a room so you could torment them for a day, whom would you choose and how would you torment them?
I would pick Vladimir Putin, even though I would really want to pick Dennis Quaid. I would probably just bring a bunch of gay rights activists in and let them talk to him for the entire day because seriously Vlad, you have to stop being such a douche about that.

13. If you could be any age for a week, what age would you be?
73, then people couldn’t call me out on anything because I’m old and would have to give me all the senior discounts.

14. Who was the last person you sang to and what did you sing?
I sang Lovefool by The Cardigans to my roommate. We were getting ready to go out and I wanted her to love me, love me.

15. What question do you hate being asked?
I hate when people ask me if I am actually smart! I don’t usually feel the need to assert my intelligence, but that doesn’t mean I’m an idiot. I can keep up with the Kardashians and still be a capable human being.

16. If you could have only one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I heard that you can live off of mashed potatoes and still get all of the vital nutrients you need, so I could be down with that.

17. How do you start a conversation?
Sometimes with a compliment, sometimes with a weird question and sometimes by saying, “hi.” That last one works every time.

18. If you had a brainwashing machine who would you use it on?
Tom Hiddleston. I would force him to love me and make me his bride.

19. Have you ever eaten a crayon? What’s the strangest thing you’ve eaten?
I haven’t eaten a crayon, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it. I think the strangest thing I’ve eaten is a dog treat. I was a very curious child and I ate one of the green ones in the Wishbone variety pack. In retrospect that was probably the grossest color to pick.

20. Are you still learning who you are?
Of course. I don’t think anyone is ever 100% sure who they are. Every experience has the ability to change you, so even if you know one day, that could change the next day with a new experience.

21. What’re you afraid of?
I am really afraid of failure. When I was younger, I achieved everything I wanted with a lot of ease, so I never had to deal with sucking at something. I am still learning how to deal with failure and how to not let my fear stop me from trying. If I let my fear stop me, I would not get anywhere in life. Also, freaking clowns scare the crap out of me. WHY DID YOU PAINT YOUR EMOTIONS ON YOUR FACE, SIR?

22. Do you dance?
Well? No. But I still do it because its so much fun to dance around and not care that you might look ridiculous.

23. What’s the weirdest thing about you?
Probably my entire personality. I like to go with my moods and be myself even though I can be pretty weird. But, I like it because the people who like your weird are the people most worth you time. It’s a pretty good detector of the people who want to have fun with life and the people who can’t get over themselves.

24. What’s the most normal thing about you?
My feet? I’m a size 8 so that feels pretty average. There is nothing special about them, really. My toenails aren’t even painted right now.

25. What are your thought’s on honesty?
Honesty is so important to maintain relationships. I would never lie to my family or close friends, and I really don’t think they would lie to me. That being said, I do enjoy creating a new personality when I go out sometimes, which I suppose does constitute lying to strangers I will never see again.

26. What do you want your tombstone to say?
A fake tombstone outside of a rollercoaster at Silver Dollar City says, “I told you I was sick.” I’ve always secretly wanted mine to say something sassy like that, even though it will probably just say “Samantha Hiddleston. Wife of the forever sexy Tom Hiddleston.”

27. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Slow walkers. They make me murderous. Move to the side if you feel the need to take one step every four minutes. I can’t handle it. UGH.

28. What feels like love to you?
I think love is in the little things. It comes from the feeling of knowing that someone thought about you when they didn’t have to. It’s someone wanting to make your day better just because. It’s also when a dog chooses to hang out with you instead of all of the other people around. That is true love right there.

29. What’s a skill you’d like to learn and why?
I would love to learn how to fix cars. I like to be as independent as I can, and its one area where I feel so dependent on others for help. I think it could be fun to be able to figure out what is wrong with a car and how to fix it. It would be like learning how to solve a very practical puzzle each time an issue arose.

30. How would your friends describe you?
My friends would definitely describe me as goofy, outgoing, opinionated and maybe even a little abrasive. But, I like to think my close friends would also describe me as loyal, protective, helpful and compassionate.

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