True Life: I’m Addicted to Solitaire

Solitaire is my best friend.

I wish I could say I were joking, but I am not. If I were to write a love letter to Solitaire, it would go something like this:

Dear Solitaire,

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are my knight in shining armor, my beacon of light in the imminent doom of darkness, my solace in times of boredom, the love of my dreary life.

You never fail me. You are always available when I need you, whether in a deck of cards (when we’re feeling old fashioned) or in an app on my iPhone.

Whenever I am bored, you are there for me. Whenever I am sad, you are there for me. Whenever I am frustrated, you are there for me. You are always reliable, always loyal, you never cheat on me or cause me anger.

Actually, you cause me a little anger, on occasion, if I ever cannot complete you. But that is usually only of my own accord due to my own lack of intelligence. Except for when it’s all your fault, which is every time I can’t win a game you make it impossible to win. But all relationships have an issue somewhere, right? Let’s not dwell on your faults.

You stimulate my brain, preventing me from ever falling into a state of stupidity.

For all of this, I thank you. For all of this, I love you. For all of this, I appear clinically insane like a normal human being.

Forever yours,

Shelby

In all honesty though, I love solitaire. If I’m ever bored, I can play solitaire. I also find great comfort in solitaire. Whenever I hit a bout of sadness, frustration, anger, irritation, (insert other negative feeling here), playing solitaire eases my mind. It’s as if with each card’s movement, with each card’s organization, I’m organizing my own thoughts and feelings. And that’s very nice for me. I like compartmentalizing things in my head, and solitaire helps me out with that.

I wouldn’t say I’m actually addicted to solitaire, but the days where I don’t play at least one game are few and far between. It’s okay to obsessively play solitaire, though, because it’s a “smart people” game, right? Like, I’m not just shooting zombies or losing IQ points with each second.

Either way, even if it did cause me to lower my IQ, I probably wouldn’t stop. Solitaire is where it’s at.

UPDATE:

I found this link that says solitaire is a good thing SO there’s that for all you hooligans.

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